You've got to love because you need yourself back.

This has been a challenging last few weeks. Every so often I get a heavy pang in my chest missing those who I love back in Minnesota. Family can be a tricky subject but in the end there is an indescribable comfort that I was never aware of until I left them 3 years ago.

Not only do I love the people, I love the way that I feel when I am home, I feel peace and joy, there is rest and freedom within me that again, I cannot describe.

Minnesota has loved me back. The people have loved me back.

Its natural for us to love what loves us and to love what is easy to love. But, I am coming to an understanding of what love really means. Listening to a pastor I follow in Los Angeles; Toure Roberts he has been speaking on a series about love. It hit me in that hour how love is distorted and mis-communicated to us from such a young age.

God is teaching me how to grow in love.

We usually believe that love feels good at all times; it causes us positive emotions. However, the true test is loving people who don't love me back or are hard to love. When you don't get anything back. How counter cultural. I wonder who is learning what love really is by having ME around... (yikes).

When others have hurt you its because you gave them enough of you; to expose you. You were vulnerable. But I encourage you to know that when you expose yourself; that person sees, YOU. When we open ourselves up; we shine. Immediately when someone whom we've opened up to hurts us, we retreat, we hide, we cover our shine. We feel unloveable or even mis-treated.

When something is cracked or broken, you can still see light coming through. My friends, we must continue to shine even though we feel cracked or broken. Love doesn't need anything back, it isn't developed in reciprocal relationships. Our destiny is in our ability to love. Love opens doors, it opens relationships and it opens hearts to Jesus. You've got to love because you need yourself back.

To find myself is to love, because its who I am. It's who you are. 

Stick with it, don't give up. In Luke 6:27-30 we are taught, "... Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for tat. Live generously." 

The healthiest version of you is the love version. Even when its painful at times; love. 

When I don't understand the path I'm on and on the inside I am crushed with confusion, I will love. 

Thank you to a God who loves us even when I'm not reciprocal by my actions. He is ever constant. I pray that we can be just like Him. What a difference our world would look like. 

Be the change in your household, your church, your workplace, with yourself. 

You were created by love, for love. 

My time in California has taught me so many things about life, I have grown personally and spiritually so quickly. When we grow, it can be uncomfortable and painful. If you feel like this; know how much God loves you and that He is with  you as you grow. He is challenging you because He loves you and His ability and strength will get you through, not your own. Keep loving along the way. 

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*Note: that this is not encouraged if you are truly in a space of abuse; that is not love. God does not call you to stay in those situations.